Thursday, February 14, 2013

Excuses, Expectations & Fear

I'm full of all three.

I want to run in the mornings - but I'm too tired and it's too cold. I start a new job next week so my hours will change. I'll be able to run after work again (which I LOVED!). But that excuse of starting a new job next week is stopping me from running today. Makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

I want to run next months LA Marathon Relay (I'm running with Train 4 Autism - awesome people & group if you want to donate to my team Cassie & Scot Train 4 Autism page ) in under 2:50. Can I do it? Yes, I can. If I put in the work. Will I do it? That is the question.

I want to see results, but I don't want to put in too much work. If I don't put in the work my time won't improve. I know this. I know what I need to do, but I keep coming up with excuses not to.

Which brings me to fear.

Fear is unfortunately running rampant in my life right now.

I have fear with running - I want to push myself but am scared of getting hurt. But how will I know what I can do if I don't push? What am I waiting for? Why can't I push myself now? Why do I keep holding back? I KNOW I can go faster then I do, yet I'm afraid to be uncomfortable.

I'm also living with fear. A few weeks ago my house was broken in to while my husband and I were both at work. I came home and found the back door broken. I called 911 and they searched the house to make sure there was no one in it. Stuff was dumped out everywhere - dressers, desks, closets, wine cabinet. All that was stolen was electronics and feeling safe in my house. We've taken measures to protect our house, but I'm still trying to get over my fear of leaving the house. We are going to adopt a dog soon, which I know will help.

Maybe what I'm trying to say is - I need to let go of the excuses and the fear if I want my expectations to become reality. There's no reason I can't be a faster runner. There's no reason I can't wake up earlier to work out. There's no reason I shouldn't feel safe in my own house. Once I let go on my excuses and fear I will be in a better place.